so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
