No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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