i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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