Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
