I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im holly from the hills drunk
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
