Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
