Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
