Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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