We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My pussy is not your playground.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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