let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
