I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
