Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
