How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Are we still banned from the library?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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