NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
