there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk is a universal language darling
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
