I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
