all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
