Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So. Much. Porn.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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