What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
