i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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