It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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