Who wears a wallet chain?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
