garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
