don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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