matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity