Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.