i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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