all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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