addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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