Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
