I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
