I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
