that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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