addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
