I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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