Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
