I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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