we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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