Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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  (317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (975)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
  Replies (11) Good night (4112) Bad night (592)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.

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  (716): I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom. http://tfl.nu/gtvn
  Replies (39) Good night (1202) Bad night (4014)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...

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  (516): Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me... http://tfl.nu/nenj
  Replies (13) Good night (8203) Bad night (1400)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

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  (801): I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand... http://tfl.nu/rby4
  Replies (7) Good night (3408) Bad night (1035)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."

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  (919): She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..." http://tfl.nu/ca9j
  Replies (17) Good night (1037) Bad night (5974)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.

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  (480): Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start. http://tfl.nu/ri6j
  Replies (6) Good night (2703) Bad night (951)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.

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  (508): Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area. http://tfl.nu/biqi
  Replies (4) Good night (2867) Bad night (1181)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.

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  (413): I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD. http://tfl.nu/g1bn
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (594)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

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  (313): Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/aqg4
  Replies (0) Good night (1317) Bad night (600)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which

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  (763): My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which http://tfl.nu/haqi
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1083)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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  (412): i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/djs5
  Replies (20) Good night (1527) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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  (740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (356)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.

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  (406): I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage. http://tfl.nu/dt2r
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (243)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.

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  (262): Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing. http://tfl.nu/xeab
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (305)

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