I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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