I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
