4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.