dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
