u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps