I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
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he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.