can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down