So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
