I hate all girls vehemently.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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