oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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