but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
