Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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