Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
