Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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