Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
