Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i will never coherently bang her
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
