Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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