Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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