it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
