she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
