Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
