this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
