the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
