i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
