just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
