I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I yelled at your uterus for you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
