do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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