If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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