god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
