Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
