We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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