He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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