quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize